The car is still king! Ridiculous train fares make them look like absolute bargains

When I’m not happily driving cars, I’m a grudging train passenger who’s regularly ripped off, let down or disillusioned by this much-hyped strike-prone public transport. The customer experience is so underwhelming that my confidence in, and respect for, Britain’s heavily subsidised rail industry has rarely – if ever – been lower.   

I’m not sure if it’s me giving up on the train or the train giving up on me. Either way, the ‘alternative to the car’ is as implausible now as it was in the nineties, when notoriously hypocritical Transport Secretary John Prescott (a user of two Jaguars) told me to tell you, dear reader, that the train would soon take over as the preferred mode of transport for the average Brit. This was as blatantly untrue then as it is now, not least because the cost of rail travel is exorbitant.

Travel from, say, Cardiff to Aberdeen and the standard single/one-way fare is from £285.50 – more than many flights from the UK to the Far East. People in central London doing short journeys can pay up to £15 per mile. In the Stratford quarter of the capital, passengers can pay up to £2.21 per minute on the fastest trains. A standard annual season ticket from Ebbsfleet, Kent, to St Pancras, 20 miles and minutes up the line, costs £6,000-plus. Add £1,815 for a yearly parking pass and an extra £2,000 for tube or taxi fares and we’re talking £10,000 or more per annum. That’s enough to buy a used car, refuel petrol tanks for several years, or charge an electric car at home for well over a decade.

If tickets weren’t so prohibitively expensive and responsible for preventing freedom of movement among low-paid workers, students, shoppers, holidaymakers and cash-strapped folk seeking jobs, social lives or both, they’d be comical. But current Transport Secretary Heidi Alexander can still deliver some rail-related hilarity – as she proved with her performance on 25 May, when her Government began renationalising rail services. 

“Today marks a new dawn for our railways,” she enthused during her away-day on the first renationalised train from London’s Waterloo station. Further promises included “moving away from 30 years of failing passengers”, who now get “higher standards”. She has to be the funniest Transport Sec cum stand-up comedian since Two Jags Prescott.

How so? Because her highly symbolic train ride couldn’t be completed by, er, train. It took her four times longer than scheduled. And it was completed only after passengers were embarrassingly turfed off and ordered to complete their journeys in dreaded rail-replacement buses which, in my experience, are even more unpleasant (if that’s possible) than iffy trains or railway lines.

If Britain’s highest-ranking transport politician believes that this latest fiasco and wallet-busting fares represent “higher standards”, she’s more out of her depth than I feared. 

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